SUNLIGHT YELLOW OVERDRIVE

it would be with this man

Did you hear about the psychic midget who escaped from prison?

He’s a small medium at large.

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Sorry to steal that from a friend on facebook but it was too hilarious not to share.

Well, not really a ceasefire in the usual sense. See, I’m trying to quit smoking (as you may have read in my previous post). I haven’t had a cigarette for almost a week now. Surprisingly I don’t have any cravings at the moment whereas last time it was hell. I managed 11 days last time so hopefully this time I’ll be able to beat my highscore.

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In other news, I have, unsurprisingly, not been up to much at all. The exception, of course, is cowering at a spider the size of my hand. I was just in my room and this big black thing shot past me. I inspected it and, following my inspection, jolted across to the other side of my room screaming like a little girl. I grabbed a pencil and crushed it’s abdomen. The thing was still running around after I did that (although it’s hind legs weren’t moving anymore) which freaked me out. It then died. Usually I’m kind and loving towards Nature’s creatures but I did not want that thing to lay a shitload of eggs and wake up every morning to stand on some giant spider’s face. NO THANK YOU.

-Like this but bigger.

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That music part I sometimes put at the bottom of my posts to recommend you guys awesome music

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Yes folks, it’s that time again. Lately I’ve been listening to some Animal Collective and The Maccabees. I had the pleasure of seeing The Maccabees live in 2009 and they were awesome. Also, seeing as Kayne West’s 2010 album “My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy” was given a 10.0 (the highest score possible) by Pitchfork and recommended by /mu/, I gave the album a little listen. Didn’t like a single song. I don’t know, maybe it’s a grower, but I didn’t like the album at all and though it was, like most of Pitchfork’s recipients of praise, very overrated. Anyways, here’s the mewsick:

Animal Collective - In The Flowers:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fYEAflCO4Eo

Animal Collective - My Girls (amazing song; super catchy):

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zol2MJf6XNE&playnext=1&list=PL7481F12402A02C29

-Those songs above are from the album “Merriweather Post Pavilion”. If you like those, I reccomend their previous album, “Strawberry Jam”. It’s worth a listen.

The Maccabees - All in your Rows:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H7w35Vi0H2k

The Maccabees - Young Lions:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R-CLnXd6Fyw

About The Maccabees. The first song is from their first album, the second song from their second. Their first album, to me is very raw and sincere. The second album, however, well just from listening to it you can tell that their musical sound has matured and I think there’s a lot more feeling. Both albums are absolutely amazing though so if you liked their sound you should totes give them a download.

??? - ???:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmCx7VA8qGA

Enjoy, large affection.

So I finally smoked my entire bag of weed. It cost me £20 and usually they last me like 1, maybe 2 nights. This bag lasted me a month. I will miss it. Since I’ve been ill I haven’t been drinking for a while (which is an overwhelmingly good thing because I’ve been drunk about a hundred times these past 2 months). I also haven’t had a cigarette in like (I think it’s) 5 days now. Cold turkey is fucking hard, I tell you. I am so tempted to just go buy a pack of 10 cigarettes. My plan is inject myself with large quantities of horse tranquilizer over and over again so that when I eventually wake up it’ll be like 2 months into the future and I’ll have no withdrawal symptoms. Wish me luck babycakes.

Fallen in love with Animal Collective. Again.

F-F-F-FUCK I want to go out and buy some cigarettes but I don’t know whether I should or not. I mean, you know what Wilde said, but I just think it would do me a world of good to cut down. That said, I’ve had like 1 cigarette in the last 36 hours. I REALLY want one but I think I’d manage without one.

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WAT DO?

Okay well it’s a unanimous no to buying more. Thanks errbody.

Dear lord. I’ve had my “cider warrior” moments of being so drunk I, while attempting to lean against a wall, repeatedly fell back onto it and bashed my head off it each time, but that was smalltime in comparison to Beaver’s birthday. This, readers, is the Beave:

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The day started out as any other day. I went to the studio, drummed a few songs and left. Instead of going home I met up with a few friends and we had some drinks at the Beehive. This was around about 4pm and I’d already had about 5 jagerbombs. In all honesty, I’m having trouble remembering what actually happened that day because of the amount I drank. Anyways, eventually I went home and, upon arriving, opened a big bottle of strongbow I had chilling in my fridge. I took my time with it and, after I’d finished it, stumbled out of my house back to the bus stop.

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I met back up with a couple of the friends who were out earlier and we resumed our binge. All of a sudden it was 11pm and Passion was open. It was time to party (or, as Yugi would say, it was time to p-p-p-p P-P-P-P-Party). We got our smash on in Passion and met up with Beaver. And, to my amusement and surprise, he looked like this:

-Yes, he dressed up as our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ.

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I thought I was literally just too drunk at first. I was like “IS HE REAL OR AM I JUST TOO FUCKED?” Turns out, evidently, he was indeed dressed as Jesus. By this point there was quite a lot of us out and we ended up in quite a few places, including the Black Bull. George nips into the Black Bull more-than-seldom for some absynth. By the time we’d gotten there I’d already had something ridiculous like 20 jagerbombs and I’d always wanted to try some absynth. It’s insanely strong (like 75%+ for the weakest type) but I was determined to savor it. I spent the last of my money on a glass of green absynth. Upon downing it, I noticed several effects. First and foremost, my throat felt as if I had just downed a shot of lava. Secondly, my nose and eyes were just destroyed. I could barely see and my nostrils burned like fuck. Ouch. I really questioned how George could drink that drink regularly.

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At some point before or after this episode (how the fuck am I supposed to know?), I had been on a little solo mission to try all the different flavors of Corkey’s I could find. My hunt lead me to a place on Park Lane called Luma. I ordered two shots at the bar and then a Scottish guy appeared at the bar and called me gay. I was like “lolthanks but I have just had about 20 jagerbombs and I’m looking for something a little weaker right now”. Of course, in the state I was in, this probably came out as “sfligsdof ldikghsdikjslsd asfihg dsfgliohdh”.

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Cal had left to go home from the Black Bull to get changed into his costume. Upon my return to Passion, I saw Cal and Birthday Beaver together like this:

-Jesus Christ; literally.

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I managed to avoid crucifixion and made my way to the smoking area. I lit up a cigarette (1 of perhaps 50 that night). I turn my head and what do I see? Sayers and Gary eating each other’s faces. It really was biblical! After they both attempted to coax me into joining them I fled the scene and sat down inside. Jesus Christ came up to me and sat down next to me. He opened up a little pouch inside his robe and revealed to me a small box of popcorn chicken. I took a few out of the box and said “thank you Jesus!”

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The chicken our Lord gave me made me hungry as fuck (plus I always get really hungry when I’m drunk) so I walked over the road to Pizza King. By this time I’d gotten a little more money from the bank and so I ordered a cheese burger and chips. My friend appeared and purchased a small cheese pizza, and after we sat down she gave me a slice. I put it inside the burger and created a PizzaBurger! It was divine.

-But not as divine as “This Is Why You’re Fat“‘s amazing bacon pizza-burger.

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I’d been drinking out since like 3pm and after we left Passion at 5am, I managed to find my way to the Park Lane bus station and collapse. Nearly passing out, I waited for the bus for a good 20 or so minutes before Jesus came to my rescue. He was getting a taxi my way and I hopped in with him and a couple other friends. I bid them a farewell and zombie’d my way home, crawling into bed. It was a fun-as-fuck night but I am not drinking that much and for that duration again.

-Thank you Chelsea! Big love.

I just looked through my “friends to add” suggestions page on Facebook and it’s literally just a page of people that I want to brutally murder in the most painful ways possible. Of course, telling Facebook this would make me look like a crazed psychopath but I know that you Tumblr folk will be much more understanding!

mcsunface:

AND I’M STILL SINGLE.

Fuck you, Pluto is a planet in my books.